December 27, 1933
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December 27, 1933
December 29, 1933
My dearest Sweetheart -
This is just like a great many other evenings - it is that time of the day when my
thoughts turn to you - somewhere in my mind I am conscious of you - aware of your presence all of the time - but during the course of the average day,
I can, by an effort, turn my thoughts to other things - but at this time of the day I get very lonesome. I do not try to turn my mind to other things.
Nor could I.
Ever since I have known you, I have built castles - hopes - the future - life itself
around you - my dreams of happiness. If tomorrow someone were to ask me how much I would stake on one chance for happiness, I would simply say - 'everything' -
life itself - I have only one youth - one life - one love - all these I would stake for the one chance for happiness - and for good measure a lifetime
of work.
I have felt this way for a long time - therefore my thoughts turn to you - to love.
It is possible that every person has their own definition of 'love'. Possibly mine is not
right - also possibly I am unable to explain it in words. To me love means you - making you happier than any woman has ever been - to give to you - to do for you - to
do with you - to cherish you and to build up happy memories.
All of these things, with you - mean love - without you they mean nothing. Long ago I set my
heart on one objective - of making you my love - and my life. I have not made many promises - nor have I tried to be other than what I am - you have seen me at my
worst and lowest - always under adverse circumstances.
Someday you will realize this - you will have a chance to bring out the better side of me - that
is something that is for you alone. I want it to be that way - In doing so will you find the best there is in life - Likewise I know there is a finer side to you - a side
which will never come out in any other way than supreme happiness.
There are a great many things which will broaden our life - worth while subjects - books - night
school - and contact with the right kind of people. Work and recreation - vacations out in the mountains - nature - We have scarcely touched the field
On the other hand some things which we do now - which are not right - some things which I do which
I would not think of doing under a different order of life - Things which hurt no one but myself - or things which I do not do. I can give myself no reasons except that
sometimes I get so I don't care - or despair of fulfillment - It seems that we might be denied by fate or circumstances our right of each other. I of my wife, - you of
your husband - both of us of happiness.
There isn't any more I can do about it except to stay away as much as I can. I love you, Marian,
more dearly than anything in this world and I want to make you happy. Am I going to be given the chance?
Marino
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